O Dulhaniya … Heer

Heer of the Heer-Ranjha tale fame was declared Miss Patiala in 2014 – her preening mother emphasized this at her “marriage negotiations”.

Sattpal Singh Randhawa’s mother and grandmother only “hmmmpphedd” and smiled indulgently.

They had known of Heer’s beauty and thats what drew them to Patiala to ask for Heer’s hand for Sattpal.

She was going to be the “answer to their prayers”….

The Summer of Love and Life

She was the right kind of beauty with brains – and could speak English! To the Randhawa family that mattered as their son has studied in England for 3 years and then returned to join the family business…

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SuRekha

8 years had passed – and Surekha still wondered if she had lived a dream…

She often found her “free time” thinking about those times….. times when she was alone with her birds. (Surekha was very fond of pigeons)

 


Mumbai – March, 2010

A bright day and lots and lots of visitors from all over the country and abroad had come to see the Gateway Of India.

Surekha and her new husband had gone to visit Mumbai for their “Honeymoon”. And thats where for the 1st time 1 pigeon actually came and sat on her hand.

Since Surekha wasn’t allowed to take his name and always called him “ai-ji”…..For our ease lets just call him Raja.

 

Since Surekha wasn’t allowed to take his name and always called him “ai-ji”…..For our ease lets just call him Raja.


To read the full story, read my book:

A Normal Indian by Malavika Sharma

 

Mein Sita

It has been 4 years and Sita is still a “Dulhaniya”.

She dresses each day in red and applies mehendi and alta – as if it were a daily ritual.

Her churis often break – and she rushes to replace them.

Her sindoor is deep red and always omni present… her smile a permanent fixture…

O Dulhaniya … Sita

BUT – sita does NOT tie her hair! She hasn’t tied them for the last 4 years…

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Me Like Moment – women can retain their “OWN” names on their Passport … BUT

The PM in “a bold change from the past kind of move” announced women can retain their “OWN” names on their Passport.

Its a BOLD move – as the deeply entrenched patriarchal systems in India automatically assume that post marriage the woman becomes the property of the husband – hence needs to be “stamped” as such…

This move gives a woman her the right to “retain her old (own) identity”.

                                                                                        Freedom

A FREEDOM introduced……..indeed………..

BUT….

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That Boy loved “SPICE”

Vivaan or “the Rock” as people called him – was the high school football caption and was up for National Selections in 1 month.

So was Ruhail…

Vivaan and Ruhail were the proverbial “Jai Veeru” jodi from Sholay and the whole school knew that! And yet they were the most aggressive competitors!

Be it girls or grades or the highest number of goals – they competed on absolutely everything!

And NO they had NO secrets! EVER!

The bro-code remained…. until it didn’t…

Vivaan – The Boy Who loved Spice

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Kul ka Deepak

I met the true meaning of “Kul ka Deepak” in person at Baridih – he is an amazing 23 yr old boy – who barely got 60% in his Matric exams – from Chandil (near Jamshedpur) and then saw an “end of the road” in his life with no money to support an education and not enough marks to get a scholarship…

BUT the Gods saw in him – a promise to build the lives of many many more like him (remember 78% of the entire Indian Population is defined as “Bottom of the Pyramid”)

And the Science in his SOUL won! It won the battle of marks and money – and got him to be an amazing “Grassroot Innovator”

Deepak ka Speaker

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Mere Papa Feminist hain…

“Mere papa feminist hain…” – this is a heartfelt comment made by this gaggle of girls – more as a sense of wonderment than proclamation…

Happy to have interacted with 50 rural and semi – urban girls – of the age group of 10 to 13 yrs in the Ranchi District area.

Our discussion point veered right from what adolescence is to what feminism is – and why is there “so much halla against feminism”

And then the shining moment on how men can be feminists – and then the “Mere papa feminist hain…” moment!

This is a dedication to all girls who have feminist Dads and all Dads who aspire to be feminists – I am sharing ALL that was shared with me today:

Mere Papa Feminist hain

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OMG sanitary napkins are taxed????

In your 30s and you suddenly realize that sanitary napkins are taxed – you go OMG!

And then OMG some more – since you have been paying these taxes for the last decade and a half….!!!!

And then OMG loads – as in India where women desperately NEED sanitary conditions during their menstruation cycle – we are taxing it and making it expensive!!!!

Wow…. what AMAZING Logic?

                     OMG Sanitary Pads are Taxed :((

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Is she ACTUALLY being Sexually Harassed?

Men and Women BOTH always question if a woman ACTUALLY being Sexually Harassed , or did she misunderstand? Or it wasn’t meant to be? Or she was over-reacting?

 Then the uglier spectrum of – oh she was just “asking for it”, – look at the way she dresses, look at the way she drinks at office parties, look at the way she stays back late to work, look at the way she always works in men only teams

                                                                        Woman at WORK!

So De-Coding ACTUAL Sexual Harassment in 10 quick steps:

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Nirbhaya ke baad?

Delhi became the focal point in 2012 on 16th day of December – for a young girl was brutally raped and then her insides were mauled and mangled (almost as if she was an animal in a slaughter house) – and all because she dared to travel late in the evening with her friend (who was male). She was named ‘Nirbhaya’ by the media. It took a lot of courage for her father to come up and name her – he said – she was Jyoti Singh and she was scared to die! She was NOT Nirbhaya (without fear)!

Its 4 long years – and 4 times there have been candle lit marches, protests – a lot of noise by the political masters, the legal guardians and law makers and implementers – so what has changed?

rape, nirbhaya, gender, violence
Post Nirbhaya – WHAT?

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