It has been 4 years and Sita is still a “Dulhaniya”.
She dresses each day in red and applies mehendi and alta – as if it were a daily ritual.
Her churis often break – and she rushes to replace them.
Her sindoor is deep red and always omni present… her smile a permanent fixture…
BUT – sita does NOT tie her hair! She hasn’t tied them for the last 4 years…
The PM in “a bold change from the past kind of move” announced women can retain their “OWN” names on their Passport.
Its a BOLD move – as the deeply entrenched patriarchal systems in India automatically assume that post marriage the woman becomes the property of the husband – hence needs to be “stamped” as such…
This move gives a woman her the right to “retain her old (own) identity”.
A FREEDOM introduced……..indeed………..
BUT….
Continue reading Me Like Moment – women can retain their “OWN” names on their Passport … BUT
Radha – lay quietly weeping on the floor, she had physically curled up like a fetus!
Her hair was a mess, her bangles broken, her clothes ripped, her face battered and bruised, her hands scratched…
Next morning she was woken up by a sound on the door – and she rushed to open it – to realize that she didn’t even have proper clothes on (hers were torn).
A woman and her MIL came in – and sniggered – “Looks like they had fun…”
FUN : This word echoed in Radha’s mind. How the F*** have fun when someone is beating you, cussing at you, tearing your clothes off, scratching you, forcibly entering you…
8th April late night saw me “rant” on FB about Body-shaming! (the excerpt is below)
WHY did I write on FB ?
I got some very lovely and empowering responses in terms of around 250 plus likes and 65 msgs (this number is still rising)
Sharing a few with you (there were 65 comments):
Vivaan or “the Rock” as people called him – was the high school football caption and was up for National Selections in 1 month.
So was Ruhail…
Vivaan and Ruhail were the proverbial “Jai Veeru” jodi from Sholay and the whole school knew that! And yet they were the most aggressive competitors!
Be it girls or grades or the highest number of goals – they competed on absolutely everything!
And NO they had NO secrets! EVER!
The bro-code remained…. until it didn’t…
Iti was a lovely and extremely spoilt girl of 15.
She was part of the “I’m a babe” gang at school. And her favourite pastime was to flirt with all the boys and torment all “ugly chicks” (as she called them).
Let us not forget her designer shoes and clothes and the swanky car which dropped her to school everyday.
Raima had turned 24 yesterday, and she had had the biggest party ever. She had called all her friends from college and all the families who lived nearby.
The food was smashing and the music ethereal.
The guests she was sure would have been stumped and stunned (had they turned up)
“Mere papa feminist hain…” – this is a heartfelt comment made by this gaggle of girls – more as a sense of wonderment than proclamation…
Happy to have interacted with 50 rural and semi – urban girls – of the age group of 10 to 13 yrs in the Ranchi District area.
Our discussion point veered right from what adolescence is to what feminism is – and why is there “so much halla against feminism”
And then the shining moment on how men can be feminists – and then the “Mere papa feminist hain…” moment!
This is a dedication to all girls who have feminist Dads and all Dads who aspire to be feminists – I am sharing ALL that was shared with me today:
Drawing inspiration from ALL amazing Moms (and Dads) who are raising amazingly Feminist Sons…
These are normal people from all walks of life, from working professionals, to stay at home moms and a few stay at home dads, to some vibrant parents from the Bottom of the Pyramid…
Dear Mom ,
Please Raise me as a Feminist Son!
Continue reading Dear Mom …. Please Raise me as a Feminist Son!
I had the most awful moment of awkward silence a few months back, a woman whom I had been speaking to and counselling about her career and job – just blurted – “I was raped…”
This is a 23 year old woman who has been struggling to hold down 1 job and juggle a possible degree! She has always had this haunted and almost vacant look about her – which I could never explain!
The discussion that day was me scolding her for not taking her life seriously – and I was actually reprimanding her – when she had been bunking her evening classes….
And she said the “R” word – and that lead me to the discovery that I lacked the vocabulary to speak to her!
So WHAT should you say/not say or do/not do when someone close to you or someone comes up and says “I was raped….”
A woman in PAIN! Continue reading What do YOU say to someone who has been raped….