What do YOU say to someone who has been raped….

I had the most awful moment of awkward silence a few months back, a woman whom I had been speaking to and counselling about her career and job – just blurted“I was raped…”

This is a 23 year old woman who has been struggling to hold down 1 job and juggle a possible degree! She has always had this haunted and almost vacant look about her – which I could never explain!

The discussion that day was me scolding her for not taking her life seriously – and I was actually reprimanding her – when she had been bunking her evening classes….

And she said the “R” word – and that lead me to the discovery that I lacked the vocabulary to speak to her!

So WHAT should you say/not say or do/not do when someone close to you or someone comes up and says “I was raped….”

                                                                         A woman in PAIN! Continue reading What do YOU say to someone who has been raped….

Is she ACTUALLY being Sexually Harassed?

Men and Women BOTH always question if a woman ACTUALLY being Sexually Harassed , or did she misunderstand? Or it wasn’t meant to be? Or she was over-reacting?

 Then the uglier spectrum of – oh she was just “asking for it”, – look at the way she dresses, look at the way she drinks at office parties, look at the way she stays back late to work, look at the way she always works in men only teams

                                                                        Woman at WORK!

So De-Coding ACTUAL Sexual Harassment in 10 quick steps:

Continue reading Is she ACTUALLY being Sexually Harassed?

Play Holi CONSENT Waali…

Dear Uncle, Bhaiya, Jiju, Chacha, Friend, BF, Unknown male,

Lets all Play Holi CONSENT Waali

Lets ALL ensure that YOU do not have to ever say “Bura Na Maano Holi Hai….” – this at MOST times simply translates to “Don’t get offended for me BAD/lecherous behavior – after all its Holi”

And ALL you have to do is watch out for the signs of NO – Consent…. and NOT do those actions….

Holi should make you smile – NOT cry!

Continue reading Play Holi CONSENT Waali…

Bachcha Bikta Hai…

Jharkhand mein “Bachcha Bikta Hai”!

Child Trafficking is an evil reality which the States of Jharkhand, Assam, West Bengal, Chattisgarh, Bihar, Odisha are grappling with. Lets try to do a quick review of the WHYS of this menace

There shall be a Series 2 – for the HOWs of child trafficking…coming up!

                                                                          Bachchaa Bikta Hai

Continue reading Bachcha Bikta Hai…

On the eve of Women’s Day…

On the eve of Women’s Day – lets change the way our Public Figures speak out against women and their right to live!

How you ask? After all the constitution gives women equal rights – and the IPC protects women – well lets just start with random comments made from large public platforms like “boys will be boys” and “women are like sugar who shall attract ants”….

Do we smell Misogyny anyone?

10 quick WHAT NOT to do for our Public Figures….

                               Why cant our Public Figures stop misogynistic speeches?

Continue reading On the eve of Women’s Day…

Gurmehar Kaur is an Idiot (perhaps) BUT…

Dear Trolls/People/Media/Politicians/Sports stars (now this one shocked me),

Lets start with clearing a few things:

  1. Gurmehar Kaur may or may not be an idiot

  2. Gurmehar Kaur may or may not be the daughter of a Kargil martyr

  3. Gurmehar Kaur may or may not be an AAP type volunteer

  4. Gurmehar Kaur may or may not be an opportunist….

  5. Gurmehar Kaur …. etc etc…

BUT Gurmehar Kaur is a WOMAN!

This is NOT Gurmehar Kaur! Continue reading Gurmehar Kaur is an Idiot (perhaps) BUT…

Confused Misogynists?

Misogyny is the dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women. But  seeing through the misogynistic glass: discussions online and offline with many women and some men leads me to some rather startling facts:

girl, misogyny, gender bias
Misogynists aren’t aware of their own misogyny

Continue reading Confused Misogynists?

Misogynistic women exist

Misogyny is “dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women” as per the dictionary.

And YES misogyny is practiced by women too!

women, mysoginy, gender
                                                     Why do women hate women?

Understanding misogyny when followed by women (and hating it):
Sharing a conversation with 2 women misogynists whom I had the complete displeasure and misfortune of meeting.

Continue reading Misogynistic women exist

Nirbhaya ke baad?

Delhi became the focal point in 2012 on 16th day of December – for a young girl was brutally raped and then her insides were mauled and mangled (almost as if she was an animal in a slaughter house) – and all because she dared to travel late in the evening with her friend (who was male). She was named ‘Nirbhaya’ by the media. It took a lot of courage for her father to come up and name her – he said – she was Jyoti Singh and she was scared to die! She was NOT Nirbhaya (without fear)!

Its 4 long years – and 4 times there have been candle lit marches, protests – a lot of noise by the political masters, the legal guardians and law makers and implementers – so what has changed?

rape, nirbhaya, gender, violence
Post Nirbhaya – WHAT?

Continue reading Nirbhaya ke baad?

Daayan Pratha : A Negative Gloom

A negative gloom: a detailed discussion on Daayan Pratha / Witch Craft and its prevalence in Jharkhand in the name of social, religious and superstitious beliefs…
To those who know… And to those who don’t.
An ugly reality which women in rural Jharkhand face are being branded a Daayan or a Witch – and then being publically shamed, beaten, paraded naked and finally killed.
The supposed powers of these women accused of witchcraft range from domestic animals dying/disappearing to children dying to people falling ill.

witch craft, daayan, old woman,
Old widowed women are often branded as Daayans

Continue reading Daayan Pratha : A Negative Gloom